Should You Mix Money and Friendship? Here’s How to Get it Right

Struggling with finances? It’s time to stop hiding behind “I’m fine.” Seek wise counsel, embrace budgeting, and let true friends hold you accountable for financial growth and lasting success.

“Where no counsel is, the people fall: But in the multitude of counsellers there is safety” – Proverbs 11:14

Often we go through life pretending everything is ok. When someone asks us how we are doing, our standard answer is ‘fine’. The Conversation then ends only to be repeated at the next encounter. We miss the opportunity to communicate and share with others simply because we fell into the abyss of ‘fine’ville’ hiding from the world our true state. Who knows if you could have shared a testimony, a word of encouragement, a statement of faith, or a cry to let others know it’s acceptable not to have it all together?

We go through times when life hasn’t dealt us the best of hands. Life happens to all of us and we need each other. The Bible records that there is safety when we have godly council. We need someone who will lift our spirits, tell us to praise rather than complain, just listen and cry with us or offer words of advice. The emotional struggle is real and we need each other to make it through the valley back to the mountaintop.

So why do we think finances are an exception? Why don’t we share that we struggle balancing our checkbook, or that this month was longer than expected? Why is it that when we borrow from a friend, we avoid them? Why do our relationships have to suffer because of money? A true friend will offer sound advice or suggest a financial counselor who can help. Rescuing or bailing someone out isn’t necessarily being a true friend; we are enabling bad habits. Help them instead to get it together for the long term. Help them manage their finances and get their financial house in order… and don’t be afraid to use the word ‘budget’.

Is the adage, don’t mix friendship and finances, true? It can be if you don’t have the right friends.

Start with budgeting (Click here for a Christian-based budget spreadsheet). You can use an app or another method to record simply how much is coming in and what is going out. It’s important to not skip this step because it provides you with necessary information. This is your personal development.

If your friends (using this term loosely) are not money-wise, don’t share your information. Talking money requires a great degree of trust. Select someone who has their finances together. This would be a great accountability partner. I always say, don’t take financial advice from someone who is broke. You want a mentor or coach who has proven they have arrived where you want to go. A ride-or-die girlfriend who constantly spends isn’t going to help you get on track. Choose wisely.

When it comes to investing, mixing friendship may be detrimental. Prioritize your relationships above your financial status. As New Edition sang, ‘Sunny days, everybody loves them. Tell me, baby, can you stand the rain?’. A genuine friend will be there during the rainy seasons of your finances. When things are tight, they understand and don’t push you to cause more of a problem.

This leads to defining friends and putting people in the right category. That’s a topic for another day. Until then, write a list of those in your circle who are good with their finances. Make sure they excel in an area you desire to improve. Areas to consider include budgeting, saving, investing, retirement, home ownership, and estate planning. Pick an accountability partner from the list and get started on your financial freedom journey.

Wishing you financial success.